Ode to Martin Rayner – aka Mr Incredible
They call him “Mr Incredible” A legend in his own time He coaches Hurst Romans under 8s (Next year they’ll be under nine) He’s achieved some truly remarkable things With this talented fledgling team Whose fighting spirit and footwork skills Are every good coach’s dream Training commenced on Friday nights With Martin in charge of the drills The boys soon started to see for themselves How such training improved all their skills The season started in promising style With good wins in division four By Christmas they’d reached the top of the league And the boys were hungry for more With a dozen fine lads all eager to play The decision was taken to split So the blue team was formed (or was that one black?) Either way, they all had to get fit ’Cause there weren’t any subs and the pressure was on To ensure Martin’s team had enough Players that is, for when the chips are down With Martin the going gets tough It’s best not to stand too close to the coach When the real game gets under way For Martin can shout from Reading to Hurst And his voice bounces back the same day Of course, he’s encouraging the boys to play well And he runs down the pitch, end to end The most usual shout you’ll hear Martin make Is “Mitchell – get back and defend!” And what of the boys who make up the team Who are these marvellous lads? Is it the water that’s special in Hurst Or is it their great Mums and Dads? In goal we’ve got Harry, the tallest by far Who won’t let the other teams score The last time I heard someone guessing his age They thought he was near twenty-four!		The defenders are William K, Matthew and James An awesome back line, you’ll agree They cover the ground of an entire football team You’d think there were more than just three In midfield there’s Mitchell who everyone knows Is a star in the making for sure But Martin just treats him like one of the lads So long as he adds to the score Alongside young Mitchell stride the long legs of Ross Who lets his ball skills do the talking While up front William N is gunning for goal Has anyone ever seen William walking? The latest recruit was snatched from Jim’s team While away one weekend from his boys Yes - Edward was kidnapped to join Martin’s crew (It was one of his cleverer ploys) With half term looming and the boys taking hols The numbers were down to just six Then Herbie joined up, took the Rangers by storm And got the team out of a fix Let’s not forget Nigel who week after week Stands loyally by Martin’s side He’s a great right hand man who we can’t do without And he watches the lads with great pride So there, folks, you have it, a magnificent side Led by Martin who’s on top of his game If it wasn’t for him weekends would be dull And our team wouldn’t have so much fame. He’s devoted his time to the under 8’s side And it helps that he’s organised too He sends out his e-mails and collects all the subs Is there nothing that he wouldn’t do? What is it that gives him the magical touch That incredible match-winning style? Is it the trainers, the haircut, that voice That makes him go that extra mile? No, of course not, Mr Incredible’s trick Is a secret that none of us share But with results such as these coming week after week Well, why should any of us care?